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Driver on the Wing’s Weather for Chelsea v Tottenham

First, an apology. For those of you who were soaked on Monday night at Fulham, I regret to say that, for the first time, my weather forecast was bang on the money. 100% accurate. And then I sent it off to the wrong email address.
 
This will not happen again. I am belting and bracing this Matchday Weather Report by sending it to every conceivable email address (and yes Driver I got it! – Ed). I am also unlikely to be as accurate as I was on Monday.
 
The reason is that the weather is likely to be variable. Sunny one moment and then a sudden downpour. The temperature will creep up to around 10 degrees; cool for this time of year. There should be sun and less rain than on Saturday but there is still the prospect of a shower or two in the afternoon and evening.
 
The wind will be from the north at around 8 mph. The UV level will not worry anyone.
 
The controversially late kick off at 6pm means that, providing extra time is not played, we should be leaving the ground as the sun sets. Extra time and penalties would mean leaving in the dark.
 
Tottenham supporters travel further than any other supporters to home games. They drive down to White Hart Lane from all corners of  Hertfordshire, Buckinghamshire and Bedfordshire and those other strange home counties to the north of London that one never visits except to drive through on the M1 or A1 when going to the real north.
 
Dull commuter towns surrounded by drab countryside which is in torn blighted by major roads and railway lines. It is little wonder then that Tottenham supporters are so frustrated and angry.
 
There may have been a time before the multiple roundabouts ripped through the Hertfordshire countyside that the place was a rural idyll, a day’s journey from the capital by horse and cart, people probably frolicked in haywains or whatever.
 
The coming of the railway, the motorcar and slum clearance from some of the more ghastly parts of London, saw the death of that pastoral image. Anonymous housing, faceless commuters and Tottenham supporters have replaced it.
 
Graham Greene came from Berkhamstead but probably before the place was overrun by Tottenham.
 
For some reason, the FA have decided to give Tottenham the same allocation as Chelsea. While, for many Tottenham fans, this is the biggest game they are likely to see since their unlikely victory in the Carling Cup courtesy of Avram Grant, it seems a little cruel to denude Hertfordshire of its population. What will they do in the Harvesters and Nandos of Welling and Royston? To whom will they serve chicken in the basket in the plastic pubs of Stevenage and Hatfield?
 
Tottenham supporters can be identified by their clothing.

Hertfordshire, unlike London, is not noted for its sophistication and panache. There was widespread concern recently when Blacks, the owners of Millets, went into administration. Tottenham dress at Millets and without Millets Tottenham might have been undressed; an altogether undesired experience.
 
Tottenham supporters are not Londoners but the children and grandchildren of those who sought to escape one of the foulest parts of London. Sadly they never really escaped. They just took all that was wrong with it away with them.

Never make the mistake of imagining that they think like Londoners, behave like Londoners or dress like Londoners.

They are Tottenham. They are Hertfordshire.
 
Remember, you are Chelsea and Chelsea is style.

(You can see all of Driver’s reports here)

Please Note: anyone who takes these articles seriously and without a sense of humour need not comment, failing that, I will post anything sent in of relevance to this article provided it isn’t too abusive, ‘Driver’ has pretty broad shoulders! – Ed

Discussion

One comment for “Driver on the Wing’s Weather for Chelsea v Tottenham”

  1. I met Graham Green’s sister in Geneva 9 years ago. Nice old gal she was too!

    My Barometer says stormy by the way… in fact, all 3 of them do!

    Posted by Roman's Soldier | April 13, 2012, 5:47 pm

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