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Girl Who Likes Balls – Nottingham Forest

Frankie Lampard, He’s Won More Than You Chelsea 2 Nottingham Forest 0 – FA Cup Third Round – Saturday 5th January 2018 15:00 Transfer B*llocks: Sarri didn’t know on Tuesday that we were signing Pusilic. Don’t know why that should surprise anyone who has been paying attention for the last decade. One thing he does […]

Tottenham Away – Carabao Cup Semi Final – Wembley

Following a meeting between the police, Chelsea Football Club, Tottenham Football Club and supporters groups from both sides the following advice has been agreed. The stadium will open its doors at 6.30pm and Chelsea fans will enter via Entrance C (9 turnstiles). Supporters are being asked to get to the ground early as there will […]

Girl Who Likes Balls – Southampton

Get Me Bill Pullman Chelsea 0 Southampton 0 – Wednesday 2nd January 2019 19:45 ​ New year, new entertaining Chelsea, we can dream right? Wrong. In the News: Pusilic is a Blue, the club wisely sorting that out ASAP and getting his name on the paper before CL qualification is settled. Or not if tonight […]

Girl Who Likes Balls – Crystal Palace

Oh My God Is That F*cking Victor Moses?! Crystal Palace 0 Chelsea 1 – Sunday 30th December 2018 12:00 (F*ckers) In the News: Someone called Eddie has apparently announced to the whole world that Pusilic is on his way to us, in the meantime people in Germany are trying to buy Hudson-Odoi. Hummels to us […]

Girl Who Likes Balls – Leicester & Watford

Five Days of Christmas Chelsea 0 Leicester City 1 – Saturday 22nd December 2018 15:00 In the News: Just the half a dozen articles crowning the filthy Scouse champions at Xmas. United flew to Cardiff – are you serious? Not as serious as Sanchez – who reckons he won a £20k bet when Chequebook Pulis […]

Girl Who Likes Balls – Bournemouth

Jingle Balls Chelsea 1 AFC Bournemouth 0 – Carabao Cup Quarter Final Wednesday 19th December 2019 19:45 Too drunk and then too ill to post the Vidi/Brighton write up before we played Bournemouth. Which is a shame because I think I was pretty hilarious. I’ll stick them in the book at the end of the […]

Girl Who Likes Balls – Man City

Will the Real Slim Chelsea Please Stand Up Chelsea 2 Manchester City 0 – Saturday 8th December 2018 17:30 In the News: Elseid Hysaj’s agent says that talks with Chelsea over the Napoli defender may resume in January. The Albanian is a right back. One defensive position where our coverage hasn’t made me want to […]

Girl Who Likes Balls – Wolves

Chelsea Broke Me Wolves 2 Chelsea Pathetic – Wednesday 5th December 2018 19:45 In the News: Sarri is apparently making a play for overturning the one year contract rule so far as keeping people who are over thirty, City could be looking at a Champions League ban after claims they have cheated FFP. No sh*t. […]

Home To Forest In The FA Cup

From the official Chelsea FC website: “The draw for the FA Cup third round was made at Stamford Bridge this evening, with the Blues handed a home tie against Championship side Nottingham Forest. Ruud Gullit, our former manager who guided us to FA Cup glory in 1997, was back at the Bridge to carry out […]

Girl Who Likes Balls – Fulham

Scousers on the Roof Chelsea 2 Fulham 0 – Sunday 2nd December 2018 12:00 In the News: Dave has followed Kante and Alonso is signing a new long term deal. Hurrah. Ozil, who is apparently being courted by Inter Milan, was missing today from the north London Derby because he’s having “back spasms” which have […]

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