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Girl Who Likes Balls

This category contains 125 posts

Girl Who Likes Balls – Wolves

Made in Chelsea Wolves 2 Chelsea 5 – Saturday 14th September 2019 15:00 Or On the Buses with Sexpest. We had the annals (he thought I said anals) of Sexpest back in the 60s as a London bus driver on the way to the game. Egging his own bus so it would have to go […]

Girl Who Likes Balls – Sheffield United

Very A*seholed (on) Rum Chelsea 2 Sheffield United 2 – Saturday 30th August 2019 15:00 I warn you. I’ve been on the rum. Dead Man’s Fingers. AWESOME. I’ve also started adding disclaimers for the PC watchdogs out there who have no lives and presumably approve of smug veganism and hoity-toity road-hogging cyclists in all their […]

Girl Who Likes Balls – Leicester

Nappy Sh*tters, Meet Reality; Reality, meet Nappy Sh*tters Chelsea 1 Leicester 1 – Sunday 18th August 2019 16:30 You’d have been forgiven for forgetting that there was a football game on today, and assuming that this was a vast gathering of the Super Frank Appreciation Society. Which is fine with me as a one-off. In […]

Girl Who Likes Balls – Liverpool

It’s A Wonder They Could Even Put A Team Out Poor Tired Red Scouse 2 Chelsea 2 (Gits win 5-4 on penalties) – European Super Cup – Wednesday 14th August 2019 20:00 Victor Meldrew (Sitcom alias) went. Can we all stand and give a round of applause to the group of fans that acquiesced to […]

Girl Who Likes Balls – Man Utd

F*ck Sake People, Calm Yourselves Manchester United 4 Chelsea 0 – Sunday 11th August 2019 16:30 Me and my epic toothache went all the way to Manchester and all we got as this lousy referee who doesn’t know what a head injury looks like. A reality check, but nowhere near worthy of soiling ourselves over. […]

Girl Who Likes Balls – VAR!

VAR: What is it Good For? Certainly a fan’s guide to VAR, but perhaps more accurately what the Premier League WANT you to know. Yesterday a number of club reps were invited to VAR HQ at Stockley Park for a conflab about how it’s going to work in the league this season, what it will […]

Girl Who Likes Balls – Leicester City

Sexpest Goes to Leicester Leicester City 0 Chelsea 0 – Sunday 12th May 2019 15:00 This is a big deal. Regulars will remember that not only is Sexpest really old. (You might recall the virginity story about the woman born in the reign of Queen Victoria, or the accidental Facebook spamming that made him look […]

Girl Who Likes Balls – Eintracht Frankfurt

“Get in Hazard You Little F***ing Sexpuppet!” Chelsea 1 (2) Eintracht Frankfurt 1 (2) (Chelsea win 4-3 on penalties) – Thursday 9th May 2019 20:00 I could not have put it better myself. The credit, however, goes to the mad bloke jumping and down behind me when the last penalty went in. In the News: […]

Girl Who Likes Balls – Watford

He’s Staying! Chelsea 3 Watford 0 – Sunday 5th May 2019 14:00 No, not Eden. But Sarri was tasked with top four. And he’s done it. With a game to spare. Strap yourselves in, because you’ve got to live with his methods, his substitutions, his love affair with poor, maligned Jorginho AND that hideous new […]

Girl Who Likes Balls – Cardiff, Brighton, Everton and West Ham

They Definitely Are Still West Ham Chelsea 2 West Ham 0 – Monday 8th April 2019 20:00 As if readjusting to the temperature at home wasn’t terrifying enough. Chelsea created a neanderthal photo mash in tonight’s programme of Ampadu, Cahill and The Beard. Still looked more intelligent as a life form than anything playing for […]

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