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Girl Who Likes Balls

This category contains 130 posts

Girl Who Likes Balls – Arsenal

Oh Dear. Chelsea 2 Arsenal 2 – ​Tuesday 21st January 2020 20:15 Mid-table opposition for us tonight. From my sick bed this one. I was actually forbidden from going by a doctor after some spluttering gitbag on an Eva Air 777 gifted me a respiratory virus. So BT Sport it is. The only satisfied party […]

Girl Who Likes Balls – Newcastle United

Ronnie Biggs Would Have Been Green With Envy Newcastle United 1 Chelsea 0 – Saturday 18th January 2020 17:30 The Others: Can’t trust City to get anything done. Gits. Stern finger wag due to Gary Cahill. Pray for Leicester and an absolute miracle. Failing that I will be patenting my own brand of extra durable […]

Girl Who Likes Balls – Lille

Sacre Blue! I Hate Zonal Marking Lille 1 Chelsea 2 – Wednesday 2nd October 20:00​ To be honest, I’ve been so wrapped up in laughing hysterically at any Sp*rs meme I could lay my mitts on, it’s a miracle I even remembered that we were playing this game. In The News: Ross has to be […]

Girl Who Likes Balls

A Week in the Life of Chelsea Chelsea 2 Brighton 0 – Saturday 28th September 2019 15:00 Behold. The largest blog ever. Chelsea 1 Filthy Red Scouse 2: Rarely are you this proud of your boys when they don’t win. The return of the Kante twins! Huzzah! Mason Mount also fit to start. Emerson also […]

Girl Who Likes Balls – Valencia

Still Less Painful than Watching Brexit Chelsea 0 Valencia 1 – Tuesday 17th September 2019 20:00 Just remember that, if this is how we are to go out of Europe. First home defeat in continental competition in three years, though, look at who we have been playing. In the News: It’s only been 24 hours […]

Girl Who Likes Balls – Wolves

Made in Chelsea Wolves 2 Chelsea 5 – Saturday 14th September 2019 15:00 Or On the Buses with Sexpest. We had the annals (he thought I said anals) of Sexpest back in the 60s as a London bus driver on the way to the game. Egging his own bus so it would have to go […]

Girl Who Likes Balls – Sheffield United

Very A*seholed (on) Rum Chelsea 2 Sheffield United 2 – Saturday 30th August 2019 15:00 I warn you. I’ve been on the rum. Dead Man’s Fingers. AWESOME. I’ve also started adding disclaimers for the PC watchdogs out there who have no lives and presumably approve of smug veganism and hoity-toity road-hogging cyclists in all their […]

Girl Who Likes Balls – Leicester

Nappy Sh*tters, Meet Reality; Reality, meet Nappy Sh*tters Chelsea 1 Leicester 1 – Sunday 18th August 2019 16:30 You’d have been forgiven for forgetting that there was a football game on today, and assuming that this was a vast gathering of the Super Frank Appreciation Society. Which is fine with me as a one-off. In […]

Girl Who Likes Balls – Liverpool

It’s A Wonder They Could Even Put A Team Out Poor Tired Red Scouse 2 Chelsea 2 (Gits win 5-4 on penalties) – European Super Cup – Wednesday 14th August 2019 20:00 Victor Meldrew (Sitcom alias) went. Can we all stand and give a round of applause to the group of fans that acquiesced to […]

Girl Who Likes Balls – Man Utd

F*ck Sake People, Calm Yourselves Manchester United 4 Chelsea 0 – Sunday 11th August 2019 16:30 Me and my epic toothache went all the way to Manchester and all we got as this lousy referee who doesn’t know what a head injury looks like. A reality check, but nowhere near worthy of soiling ourselves over. […]

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