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Girl Who Likes Balls

This category contains 70 posts

Girl Who Likes Balls – Brighton

Who Needs Peter Crouch? Brighton & Hove Albion 0 Chelsea 4 – Saturday 20th January 2018 12:30 New song alert: (leave it to Mrs Brown, musical genius that he is) “VAR (just say it as a word- angrily) Hurgh Yeah What is it good for? Absolutely nothing!” It amused us anyway. In the News: The […]

Girl Who Likes Balls – Leicester

Trigger and I Have Got a Secret Chelsea 0 Leicester City 0 – Saturday 13th January 2018 15:00 When your best mate is so excited about making it into the ground for kick off that he almost punches David Luiz’s mum in the face… … Mama Luiz just laughed at him, but he might as […]

Girl Who Likes Balls – Arsenal

There’s a Goon In My Seat and I Don’t Like It Chelsea 0 Arsenal 0 – 1st Leg Semi-Final Carabao Cup – Wednesday 10th January 2018 In the News: Everything is about racism so far this week. Oh dear Peter Beardsley. Oh. Dear. The Newcastle youth coach appears to be Britain’s socially inept equivalent of […]

Girl Who Likes Balls – Norwich City

We Want Our Money Back Norwich City 0 Chelsea 0 – Saturday 6th January 2018 17:30 Fozzie Bear (muppet alias) has been going to Chelsea for nearly 60 years, so he’s suffered everything the Blues can throw at him. And more. Fozzie Bear never gets irate, but he’s actually demanding his ticket for the replay […]

Girl Who Likes Balls – Arsenal

London Calling L’Arse 2 Chelsea 2 – Wednesday 3rd January 2018 19:45 In my defence, my word count would have been acceptable if not for Anthony Taylor. In the News: Thank God, someone has sent Conte to a relaxation guru. Before his head explodes. We will all benefit from this. Did I not predict carnage […]

Girl Who Likes Balls – Stoke City

Where There’s a Willy There’s a Way Chelsea 5 Stoke City 0 – Saturday 30th December 2017 15:00 In the News: Most of the amusement this week has come from the shy, retiring, self-pronounced non-drama queen that is Chequebook Pulis. Says he hasn’t been able to spend enough money to win. Just the £300m. It’s […]

Girl Who Likes Balls – Bournemouth (C/Cup)

Four Missing Christmas Cards Part Deux Chelsea 2 AFC Bournemouth 1 – Carabao Cup Quarter Final – ​Wednesday 20th December 2017 19:45 In the News: Chequebook Pulis says he never makes a circus out of winning. The absolute ringleader of making a circus out of everything down to having a fart on the bench, claims […]

Girl Who Likes Balls – Southampton

Oi Pellegrino. Your Hazard Plan Ain’t Working Chelsea 1 Southampton 0 – Saturday 16th December 2017 15:00 In the News: Apparently we are looking at a mass exodus at Arsenal. Well at least Jack Wilshere will be happy, because if his weetabix legs happen to be working for once at the time he might get […]

Girl Who Likes Balls – Huddersfield Town

We’ll Sing It Till May Huddersfield Town 1 Chelsea 3 – Tuesday 12th December 2017 20:00 Jet lag + monster flu = waking up half an hour before you were due to leave for Huddersfield. From the other side of London. Oops. In the News: In my opinion, Conte spoke a lot of sense in […]

Girl Who Likes Balls – Atletico Madrid

I Allowed Chelsea to Win Tonight Chelsea 1 Atletico Madrid 1 – Tuesday 5th December 2017 19:45 In the News: Clattenburg. Front and centre. Just the way he likes it. What an egotistical f*ckbag this weave-wearing bellend is. He “allowed” T*ttenham to self-destruct at the bridge apparently. We can only lament that when Copernicus and […]

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