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Girl Who Likes Balls

This category contains 115 posts

Girl Who Likes Balls – Dynamo Kiev

One Kiev, Stuffed. Chelsea 3 Dynamo Kiev 0 – Europa League Last 16 – Thursday 7th March 2019 20:00 In the News: The appeal is in against the transfer ban. Don’t know whether yet whether that will enable us to sign people this summer. Sarri’s been having talks about pre-season. Probably along the lines of […]

Girl Who Likes Balls – Fulham

We Don’t Hate You, Cos You’re Sh*t ​Fulham 1 Chelsea 2 – Sunday 3rd March 2019 14:05 This was the 82nd West London derby. Fulham have won precisely nine of them. Hence why this away-day excursion is thoroughly enjoyable, and nobody wants to see them go down, but it doesn’t pack a punch. In the […]

Girl Who Likes Balls – Tottenham Hotspur

It’s Happened Again! Chelsea 2 North London Jellyfish 0 – Wednesday 27th February 2019 20:00 Ahahahaha, another season, no home, no trophies and a deep sense of emptiness for a club that one week ago thought they might just win the league. In the News: The fallout from Kepagate/Sarri’s tantrum continued after Sunday. Apparently Kepa […]

Girl Who Likes Balls – Malmo

Apocalypse Now Malmo 1 Chelsea 2 – Thursday 14th February 2019 20:00 Right now my brain is reeling. I never thought that I would hear myself say “Michael Owen has made me feel better.” If he is the voice of reason, then the rest of the world must really have gone to sh*t. Bertie is […]

Girl Who Likes Balls – Man City

What the F*cking Hell Was That Manchester City: I stopped counting Chelsea: 0 – Sunday 10th February 2019 16:00 Mother of god. This time last week I was watching a lioness chew the middle out of a still bleeding zebra and it was less gruesome than this. Someone’s just lobbed their membership card at Rudiger […]

Girl Who Likes Balls – Newcastle – Arsenal – Tottenham

Revenge is a Dish Best Served Cold Chelsea 2 (2) Sp*rs 1 (2) Chelsea win 5-3 on penalties Carabao Cup Semi-Final Second Leg – Thursday 22nd January 19:45 I left you guys for eight days and I come back to a scene from the end of a f*cking Tarantino film. 6000 rounds of spent ammunition […]

Girl Who Likes Balls – Tottenham

Come and Get It Sp*rs 1 Chelsea 0 – Carabao Cup Semi-Final – Tuesday 8th January 2019 20:00 In the News: Sheffield Wednesday or Luton for us in the Fourth Round of the FA Cup. Klopp is blaming the wind for the Red Scouse’s hilarious early exit. I blame the fact that you didn’t give […]

Girl Who Likes Balls – Nottingham Forest

Frankie Lampard, He’s Won More Than You Chelsea 2 Nottingham Forest 0 – FA Cup Third Round – Saturday 5th January 2018 15:00 Transfer B*llocks: Sarri didn’t know on Tuesday that we were signing Pusilic. Don’t know why that should surprise anyone who has been paying attention for the last decade. One thing he does […]

Girl Who Likes Balls – Southampton

Get Me Bill Pullman Chelsea 0 Southampton 0 – Wednesday 2nd January 2019 19:45 ​ New year, new entertaining Chelsea, we can dream right? Wrong. In the News: Pusilic is a Blue, the club wisely sorting that out ASAP and getting his name on the paper before CL qualification is settled. Or not if tonight […]

Girl Who Likes Balls – Crystal Palace

Oh My God Is That F*cking Victor Moses?! Crystal Palace 0 Chelsea 1 – Sunday 30th December 2018 12:00 (F*ckers) In the News: Someone called Eddie has apparently announced to the whole world that Pusilic is on his way to us, in the meantime people in Germany are trying to buy Hudson-Odoi. Hummels to us […]

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