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Girl Who Likes Balls

This category contains 81 posts

Girl Who Likes Balls – Southampton (FA Cup Semi Final)

Bloody Big Garden! Chelsea 2 Southampton 0 – FA Cup Semi Final, Sunday 22nd April 2018 15:00 In the News: I would sincerely like it if the grim reaper would take a step back from Chelsea legends. Roy Bentley fell asleep this week. Captain, Champion, family man, gent; gone to have a kick about with […]

Girl Who Likes Balls – Burnley

Let’s All Play For England Burnley 1 Chelsea 2 – Thursday (What. The. F*ck?) 19th April 2018 19:45 Burnley. It basically looks as depressing as “Sterk,” but the locals don’t eat their young. Southampton 2 Chelsea 3: The nay-sayers had to take it back. Yes Janice (muppet alias) I’m talking to you. I was giving […]

Girl Who Likes Balls – West Ham

Out Of My Sight! Thou Dost Infect My Eyes! Chelsea 1 West Ham 1 – Sunday 8th April 2018 16:30 I should be in Krakow right now. Where it is 24 degrees. Thanks for nothing SleazyJet . You orange b*stards. Also. A cluster of the Chelsea Chicago massive are in town. Jägerbombs were had on […]

Girl Who Likes Balls – Tottenham

“Have Fun” Chelsea: Sigh. Sp*rs: W*nkers – Sunday 1st April 2018 16:00 The last two words my mum said to me before I left her flat this morning. I’m so glad I’ve got 3000 calories of chocolate eggs at home to stuff in my face. I saw a West Ham fan on Twitter saying he’d […]

Girl Who Likes Balls – Leicester City

Some Mothers Do ‘Ave ‘Em Leicester City 1 Chelsea 2 (Finally) – FA Cup Quarter Final – Sunday 18th March 2018 16:30 In the News: UEFA are morons. This is arguably not news. They’ve charged Besiktas with insufficient organisation because a ginger cat ran on the pitch during the Bayern game. My kitten Bertie gets […]

Girl Who Likes Balls – Man City

False 9, False Hope Manchester City 1 Chelsea 0 – Sunday 4th March 2018 16:00 In the News: I had a list of the usual mockery to put here, but it doesn’t seem fitting to put it after this: Last night Davide Astori, Fiorentina’s captain, checked into the team hotel ready for today’s game. He […]

Girl Who Likes Balls – Man Utd

Woe is Us Manchester United 2 Chelsea 1 – Sunday 25th February 2018 14:05​ In the News: My blood pressure had just about returned to normal levels by the weekend after watching replays of Suarez tripping himself up and screaming for a penalty. We need retrospective bans for the likes of him and Sp*rs’s diving […]

Girl Who Likes Balls – West Brom – Hull City – Barcelona

It Only Took Him a Decade! Chelsea 1 UEFAlona 1 – Last 16 UEFA Champions League – Tuesday 20th February 2018 19:45 Chelsea 3 West Brom 0: I’ve relied on the sage wisdom of Uncle Albert to update me on the two fixtures while I was away. For this one I was sitting in the lounge […]

Girl Who Likes Balls – Watford

Kamikaze Conte? Watford 4 Chelsea 1 – Monday 5th February 2018 20:00 All those vacating the away end tonight might want to mind out not to get run over by the four horsemen of the apocalypse. In the News: Before I say anything: I don’t perceive our board to be infallible. I’m not saying that […]

Girl Who Likes Balls – AFC Bournemouth

We’ve Had Our Day Out, Let’s F*ck Off Home Chelsea – Couldn’t have scored in a brothel. AFC Bournemouth – Looked like Barcelona – Wednesday 31st January 2018 19:45 Well as the crowd poured out, I laughed my head off the last twenty minutes of that game. To celebrate the biggest pile of w*nk I’ve […]

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