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Girl Who Likes Balls

This category contains 59 posts

Girl Who Likes Balls – Arsenal

“Now I’ve Seen Their Team I’m Confident We’ll Win This.” Community Shield: Arsenal 1 Chelsea 1 (Goons win on mad penalties) Sunday 6th August 2017 14:00   No. As you can see we learned nothing at all from the FA Cup Final.    Us: It was a predictable Chelsea line up, with Michy replacing Costa. Obviously Matic and Chequebook Pulis have hooked up again like a couple […]

Girl Who Likes Balls – Winter Is Coming

An A to Z of Chelsea’s Pre-season  A – is for Arsenal. Our first outing. The pundits didn’t appear to have picked up a newspaper this side of May. Hazard had a niggle (bit dismissive for a broken ankle) Zouma should go on loan (already has, bellend)and allegedly, if your name is Tony Cascarino, the only difference between Arsenal and Chelsea last season was “consistency.” (Facepalm)  […]

Veni Vidi Vici (by Alex Churchill)

Following Chelsea 2016-17 Relive the highs, the lows, the drama and the f***wittery of Chelsea’s 2016-17 title winning season through the eyes of a home and away season ticket holder who had a predilection for sarcasm and a never-ending vocabulary that is fully employed to creatively observe all in the beautiful game. And they said […]

Girl Who Likes Balls – Watford

Chelsea Reserves 4 Watford 3 – Game 37: Monday 15th May 20:00 In the News: Just f*ck off already with this nauseating Sh*te Hart Lane vomitfest. They’re moving out for a few months. And they’re going three feet up the road. Also, nothing of note has happened at that dump since my mum was at […]

Girl Who Likes Balls – West Bromwich Albion

Michy Batshuayi Just Won Us The F**king League West Bromwich Albion 0 Chelsea 1 – Friday 12th May 2017 20:00 He came on. He gave away three free kicks that made everyone shout at him and then the bloke that’s been slated from one end of the season to the other sealed the title for […]

Girl Who Likes Balls – Southampton

We Won AND Chelsea Gave Me Cake! Chelsea 4 Southampton 2 – Tuesday 25th April 2017 19:45 After Saturday’s match report, when people moaned, I’ve been ordered to go on an equal opportunities course entitled “Living With Gingerism: They Have Feelings Too.” I’m only going for the free tea and biscuits and because it’s a […]

Girl Who Likes Balls – Tottenham Hotspur

Where’s Your Ginger Gone? Chelsea 4 Sp*rs 2 – FA Cup Semi Final, Saturday 22nd April 2017 17:30 Actual quote from me today at The Green Man: “I’m really sorry I threw that celery in your face, but I got extra points because you are a ginger.”In the News/The Others: F*ck ‘em. Nothing this week, apart […]

Girl Who Likes Balls – Manchester United

Manchester United 2 Chelsea 0 – Sunday 16th April 2017 16:00 I go away for five days and everything goes to sh*t. There is a collective wail coming from West London, enough noise coming from the ghetto off the Seven Sisters Road to make you think they’ve started burning their own town again, and you […]

Girl Who Likes Balls – AFC Bournemouth

AFC Bournemouth 1 Chelsea 3 – Saturday 8th April 2017 17:30 In the News: Harry F*cking Kane is the Sp*rs equivalent of Messi, according to their manager. There are so many things wrong with this ridiculous statement that it could be a blog in itself. So I’ll just settle for this response: Shut up. You […]

Girl Who Likes Balls – Crystal Palace

Chelsea 1 Crystal Palace 2 – Saturday 1st April 2017 15:00 (I know, don’t faint – it ain’t happening again) That much gin has been consumed that I will be amazed if this makes sense. This is going be a post-modernist blog where I throw a lot of random ranty sh*t at a canvas that […]

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