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Girl Who Likes Balls

This category contains 84 posts

Girl Who Likes Balls – West Brom – Hull City – Barcelona

It Only Took Him a Decade! Chelsea 1 UEFAlona 1 – Last 16 UEFA Champions League – Tuesday 20th February 2018 19:45 Chelsea 3 West Brom 0: I’ve relied on the sage wisdom of Uncle Albert to update me on the two fixtures while I was away. For this one I was sitting in the lounge […]

Girl Who Likes Balls – Watford

Kamikaze Conte? Watford 4 Chelsea 1 – Monday 5th February 2018 20:00 All those vacating the away end tonight might want to mind out not to get run over by the four horsemen of the apocalypse. In the News: Before I say anything: I don’t perceive our board to be infallible. I’m not saying that […]

Girl Who Likes Balls – AFC Bournemouth

We’ve Had Our Day Out, Let’s F*ck Off Home Chelsea – Couldn’t have scored in a brothel. AFC Bournemouth – Looked like Barcelona – Wednesday 31st January 2018 19:45 Well as the crowd poured out, I laughed my head off the last twenty minutes of that game. To celebrate the biggest pile of w*nk I’ve […]

Girl Who Likes Balls – Newcastle

Lord of the Flies Chelsea 3 Barcodes 0: FA Cup 4th Round – Sunday 28th January 2018 13:30 In the News: Conte. Conte. More Conte. I imagine that on press conference days Steve Atkins (the one who sits next to Antonio and polices the jackals) and Carlo Cudicini (appointed translator) feel like any chat show […]

Girl Who Likes Balls – Brighton

Who Needs Peter Crouch? Brighton & Hove Albion 0 Chelsea 4 – Saturday 20th January 2018 12:30 New song alert: (leave it to Mrs Brown, musical genius that he is) “VAR (just say it as a word- angrily) Hurgh Yeah What is it good for? Absolutely nothing!” It amused us anyway. In the News: The […]

Girl Who Likes Balls – Leicester

Trigger and I Have Got a Secret Chelsea 0 Leicester City 0 – Saturday 13th January 2018 15:00 When your best mate is so excited about making it into the ground for kick off that he almost punches David Luiz’s mum in the face… … Mama Luiz just laughed at him, but he might as […]

Girl Who Likes Balls – Arsenal

There’s a Goon In My Seat and I Don’t Like It Chelsea 0 Arsenal 0 – 1st Leg Semi-Final Carabao Cup – Wednesday 10th January 2018 In the News: Everything is about racism so far this week. Oh dear Peter Beardsley. Oh. Dear. The Newcastle youth coach appears to be Britain’s socially inept equivalent of […]

Girl Who Likes Balls – Norwich City

We Want Our Money Back Norwich City 0 Chelsea 0 – Saturday 6th January 2018 17:30 Fozzie Bear (muppet alias) has been going to Chelsea for nearly 60 years, so he’s suffered everything the Blues can throw at him. And more. Fozzie Bear never gets irate, but he’s actually demanding his ticket for the replay […]

Girl Who Likes Balls – Arsenal

London Calling L’Arse 2 Chelsea 2 – Wednesday 3rd January 2018 19:45 In my defence, my word count would have been acceptable if not for Anthony Taylor. In the News: Thank God, someone has sent Conte to a relaxation guru. Before his head explodes. We will all benefit from this. Did I not predict carnage […]

Girl Who Likes Balls – Stoke City

Where There’s a Willy There’s a Way Chelsea 5 Stoke City 0 – Saturday 30th December 2017 15:00 In the News: Most of the amusement this week has come from the shy, retiring, self-pronounced non-drama queen that is Chequebook Pulis. Says he hasn’t been able to spend enough money to win. Just the £300m. It’s […]

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