Chelsea
Girl Who Likes Balls – Malmo
Apocalypse Now Malmo 1 Chelsea 2 – Thursday 14th February 2019 20:00 Right now my brain is reeling. I never thought that I would hear myself say “Michael Owen has made me feel better.” If he is the voice of reason, then the rest of the world must really have gone to sh*t. Bertie is […]
Girl Who Likes Balls – Man City
What the F*cking Hell Was That Manchester City: I stopped counting Chelsea: 0 – Sunday 10th February 2019 16:00 Mother of god. This time last week I was watching a lioness chew the middle out of a still bleeding zebra and it was less gruesome than this. Someone’s just lobbed their membership card at Rudiger […]
Girl Who Likes Balls – Tottenham
Come and Get It Sp*rs 1 Chelsea 0 – Carabao Cup Semi-Final – Tuesday 8th January 2019 20:00 In the News: Sheffield Wednesday or Luton for us in the Fourth Round of the FA Cup. Klopp is blaming the wind for the Red Scouse’s hilarious early exit. I blame the fact that you didn’t give […]
Girl Who Likes Balls – Nottingham Forest
Frankie Lampard, He’s Won More Than You Chelsea 2 Nottingham Forest 0 – FA Cup Third Round – Saturday 5th January 2018 15:00 Transfer B*llocks: Sarri didn’t know on Tuesday that we were signing Pusilic. Don’t know why that should surprise anyone who has been paying attention for the last decade. One thing he does […]
Tottenham Away – Carabao Cup Semi Final – Wembley
Following a meeting between the police, Chelsea Football Club, Tottenham Football Club and supporters groups from both sides the following advice has been agreed. The stadium will open its doors at 6.30pm and Chelsea fans will enter via Entrance C (9 turnstiles). Supporters are being asked to get to the ground early as there will […]
Girl Who Likes Balls – Southampton
Get Me Bill Pullman Chelsea 0 Southampton 0 – Wednesday 2nd January 2019 19:45 New year, new entertaining Chelsea, we can dream right? Wrong. In the News: Pusilic is a Blue, the club wisely sorting that out ASAP and getting his name on the paper before CL qualification is settled. Or not if tonight […]
Girl Who Likes Balls – Crystal Palace
Oh My God Is That F*cking Victor Moses?! Crystal Palace 0 Chelsea 1 – Sunday 30th December 2018 12:00 (F*ckers) In the News: Someone called Eddie has apparently announced to the whole world that Pusilic is on his way to us, in the meantime people in Germany are trying to buy Hudson-Odoi. Hummels to us […]
Girl Who Likes Balls – Leicester & Watford
Five Days of Christmas Chelsea 0 Leicester City 1 – Saturday 22nd December 2018 15:00 In the News: Just the half a dozen articles crowning the filthy Scouse champions at Xmas. United flew to Cardiff – are you serious? Not as serious as Sanchez – who reckons he won a £20k bet when Chequebook Pulis […]
Girl Who Likes Balls – Bournemouth
Jingle Balls Chelsea 1 AFC Bournemouth 0 – Carabao Cup Quarter Final Wednesday 19th December 2019 19:45 Too drunk and then too ill to post the Vidi/Brighton write up before we played Bournemouth. Which is a shame because I think I was pretty hilarious. I’ll stick them in the book at the end of the […]
Girl Who Likes Balls – Man City
Will the Real Slim Chelsea Please Stand Up Chelsea 2 Manchester City 0 – Saturday 8th December 2018 17:30 In the News: Elseid Hysaj’s agent says that talks with Chelsea over the Napoli defender may resume in January. The Albanian is a right back. One defensive position where our coverage hasn’t made me want to […]
