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Chelsea

This tag is associated with 361 posts

Girl Who Likes Balls – Qarabag

Chelsea 6 FK Carrier Bag 0 – Tuesday 12th September 2017 19:45 We all hate UEFA – crooked b*stards. But we’d be lying if we said we didn’t forget that like the European football loving whores we all are when we hear that damned theme music as the teams walk onto the pitch. At least […]

Girl Who Likes Balls – Leicester

Leicester City 1 Chelsea 2 – Saturday 9th September 2017 15:00 Where I come from foxes are vermin. Out they came to a bugle sounding the beginning of the hunt. They do realise that after that the foxes get hunted down and ripped apart, right? International Break: It’s not that I’m unpatriotic. I abuse anyone […]

Chelsea Drawn In Group C

From the official Chelsea FC website: “Chelsea will play Atletico Madrid, Roma and Qarabag on our return to the Champions League group stage. The draw was made in Monaco on Thursday evening and Chelsea, as champions of England, were one of the top-seeded teams. We were grouped with the team from the Spanish capital from […]

Forest in Carabao Cup

From the official Chelsea FC website: “Chelsea will host Nottingham Forest in the Carabao Cup third round. It is a home draw for the Blues, who lifted the trophy two years ago. We last met Forest in the FA Cup back in 2007, when goals from Andriy Shevchenko, Didier Drogba and a young John Mikel […]

Girl Who Likes Balls – Tottenham

Sp*rs 1 – Chelsea 2 Sunday 20th August 2017 16:00 Our Game: If you were of a dramatic nature you could have flung yourself on the tracks at Baker Street today rather that face the match. Eleven days to save Conte, says one rag; doom, more doom. It was like a Thomas Hardy novel, or […]

Girl Who Likes Balls – Burnley

Chelsea 2 Burnley 3 – Saturday 12th August 2017 15:00 Yep, that’s right. The first time since 1992 (maybe the second, I’ve drunk too much gin to care) that the reigning Premier League champions have not been televised on the opening weekend. Bet they wouldn’t have done that to the Scouse. To my immense amusement […]

Girl Who Likes Balls – League Review

I don’t know about the players – I don’t know how I’m going to keep up with the fixtures! This is the third article in a week and I’m knackered. Just down to match reports now. Might do a European preview at some point. The Battle of the Six Kingdoms – A Premier League Preview […]

Girl Who Likes Balls – Arsenal

“Now I’ve Seen Their Team I’m Confident We’ll Win This.” Community Shield: Arsenal 1 Chelsea 1 (Goons win on mad penalties) Sunday 6th August 2017 14:00   No. As you can see we learned nothing at all from the FA Cup Final.    Us: It was a predictable Chelsea line up, with Michy replacing Costa. Obviously Matic and Chequebook Pulis have hooked up again like a couple […]

Girl Who Likes Balls – Winter Is Coming

An A to Z of Chelsea’s Pre-season  A – is for Arsenal. Our first outing. The pundits didn’t appear to have picked up a newspaper this side of May. Hazard had a niggle (bit dismissive for a broken ankle) Zouma should go on loan (already has, bellend)and allegedly, if your name is Tony Cascarino, the only difference between Arsenal and Chelsea last season was “consistency.” (Facepalm)  […]

Veni Vidi Vici (by Alex Churchill)

Following Chelsea 2016-17 Relive the highs, the lows, the drama and the f***wittery of Chelsea’s 2016-17 title winning season through the eyes of a home and away season ticket holder who had a predilection for sarcasm and a never-ending vocabulary that is fully employed to creatively observe all in the beautiful game. And they said […]

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