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Girl Who Likes Balls

This tag is associated with 114 posts

Girl Who Likes Balls – Lille

Sacre Blue! I Hate Zonal Marking Lille 1 Chelsea 2 – Wednesday 2nd October 20:00​ To be honest, I’ve been so wrapped up in laughing hysterically at any Sp*rs meme I could lay my mitts on, it’s a miracle I even remembered that we were playing this game. In The News: Ross has to be […]

Girl Who Likes Balls

A Week in the Life of Chelsea Chelsea 2 Brighton 0 – Saturday 28th September 2019 15:00 Behold. The largest blog ever. Chelsea 1 Filthy Red Scouse 2: Rarely are you this proud of your boys when they don’t win. The return of the Kante twins! Huzzah! Mason Mount also fit to start. Emerson also […]

Girl Who Likes Balls – Valencia

Still Less Painful than Watching Brexit Chelsea 0 Valencia 1 – Tuesday 17th September 2019 20:00 Just remember that, if this is how we are to go out of Europe. First home defeat in continental competition in three years, though, look at who we have been playing. In the News: It’s only been 24 hours […]

Girl Who Likes Balls – Wolves

Made in Chelsea Wolves 2 Chelsea 5 – Saturday 14th September 2019 15:00 Or On the Buses with Sexpest. We had the annals (he thought I said anals) of Sexpest back in the 60s as a London bus driver on the way to the game. Egging his own bus so it would have to go […]

Girl Who Likes Balls – Sheffield United

Very A*seholed (on) Rum Chelsea 2 Sheffield United 2 – Saturday 30th August 2019 15:00 I warn you. I’ve been on the rum. Dead Man’s Fingers. AWESOME. I’ve also started adding disclaimers for the PC watchdogs out there who have no lives and presumably approve of smug veganism and hoity-toity road-hogging cyclists in all their […]

Girl Who Likes Balls – Leicester

Nappy Sh*tters, Meet Reality; Reality, meet Nappy Sh*tters Chelsea 1 Leicester 1 – Sunday 18th August 2019 16:30 You’d have been forgiven for forgetting that there was a football game on today, and assuming that this was a vast gathering of the Super Frank Appreciation Society. Which is fine with me as a one-off. In […]

Girl Who Likes Balls – Man Utd

F*ck Sake People, Calm Yourselves Manchester United 4 Chelsea 0 – Sunday 11th August 2019 16:30 Me and my epic toothache went all the way to Manchester and all we got as this lousy referee who doesn’t know what a head injury looks like. A reality check, but nowhere near worthy of soiling ourselves over. […]

Girl Who Likes Balls – Leicester City

Sexpest Goes to Leicester Leicester City 0 Chelsea 0 – Sunday 12th May 2019 15:00 This is a big deal. Regulars will remember that not only is Sexpest really old. (You might recall the virginity story about the woman born in the reign of Queen Victoria, or the accidental Facebook spamming that made him look […]

Girl Who Likes Balls – Eintracht Frankfurt

“Get in Hazard You Little F***ing Sexpuppet!” Chelsea 1 (2) Eintracht Frankfurt 1 (2) (Chelsea win 4-3 on penalties) – Thursday 9th May 2019 20:00 I could not have put it better myself. The credit, however, goes to the mad bloke jumping and down behind me when the last penalty went in. In the News: […]

Girl Who Likes Balls – Watford

He’s Staying! Chelsea 3 Watford 0 – Sunday 5th May 2019 14:00 No, not Eden. But Sarri was tasked with top four. And he’s done it. With a game to spare. Strap yourselves in, because you’ve got to live with his methods, his substitutions, his love affair with poor, maligned Jorginho AND that hideous new […]

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